Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The Perfect Parent?

Faith vs. Formula: The Myth of a Perfect Parent

Speaker:  Carol Wedevan

Your children will emulate the things you say or do.  Would you like your child to repeat those things?

How well do you know your child…inside and out? Do you hear your child’s heart?  What gives him joy?

It’s so important to be who you are, and to keep your eyes and ears open to each of your children.  

Carol encourages us to THROW OUT trying to be more than GOD and comparing our children, both to our other children and to others’ children.  

How can we get to know our children?  Carol shared her idea of keeping daily journals with snippets of the day’s happenings for each child.  This became a rich resource in her ability to know and understand each as an individual.  It was then something she was able to later hand to each child as a record and reminder.  It would be interesting to see how much the grandchildren are like their parents!

We heard about a variety of children and their personalities and learning needs.  There are so many intricate details to our children that we can get hung up on just a few and miss teaching (and learning) opportunities.  Carol gives examples of what we see from different children, and how we can cater to their needs. 

The child with slow motor skills will need teaching and encouragement in that area.  Patience from both parties is a must.

What about the child with quick motor skills?  We might think, “Great, no need to worry…”  But, in fact, we might want to stress the importance of relaxation.

How about one who is eager but not able?  Our teachable moment would involve training the child in gentle perserverence.  Repetition will help greatly.

There are many other personalities, but this give you an idea.  Look for what could be beneficial for your child.  Specific strengths may show you areas of your child’s personality that could use further training.


Notes on discipline:
Training: keep doing it over and over, repetition is so important for children

Conscious: intentional observation

Steer and train: physical, mental, social, emotional and spiritual matters

Saying “yes” whenever you can gives more strength to “no” when you need to use it.

“Yes” can also be taught as “wait,” focusing of patience.


Final words:

 Carol showed us a t-shirt with this phrase:

“Warning: What you do may appear in my next book.” 

This is a true warning for parents…think about it also as: “What your child does may appear in my next book.” (Where did he learn that behavior?)



Fruit of the Spirit: “…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Galatians 5:22


Be real. Be a trusted friend. Be human. 

Acknowledge: To be perfect is to intimidate.


“Teaching every moment, training for life.”

BE CONTENT.  Pray that your child learns how not to envy or be selfish.
BE HELPFUL GOOD & KIND, showing your child how to care for others.
BE OPEN. Saying, for example, “I am sad today,” permits your child to do the same.
BE PATIENT, showing and teaching your child the art of waiting.
BE PROUD of your child. Celebrate. Build his/her self-worth.
BE THANKFUL.  Pray that your child perceives your heart and learns not to grumble.
BELIEVE that miracles do happen.
BLESS others.  Involving your child plants seeds of love and hope in his/her heart.
CARE for your child as God cares for you both.
CREATE ideas, plans, solutions, opportunities, possibilities, something new everyday.
ENJOY God’s creation.  Help your child see beauty.
FEED your heart, soul and mind with God’s Truth.  Live it with your child.
FORGIVE.  When your child knows forgiveness, (s)he will be able to forgive.
KEEP pen & paper handy.  It’s never too late to record God’s story in your life.
LIFT your life with sleep, rest, quiet times, solitude, meditation, and more sleep.
LIVE the difference between ‘wants’ & ‘needs’ so your child understands the difference.
LOVE your tantrum child with patience, training toward his/her self-control.
LOVE unconditionally, as only God loves you both.  Pray that your child sees God in you.
OBEY God’s rules for life.  Pray that your child obeys both you and God.
PRAY that your child catches all your good habits.
PUT GOD FIRST, spouse & you next, then your child…before hobbies, meetings, etc.
READ beautiful books to your child.  Give him/her the opportunity to love words & truth.
RESPECT your child so (s)he learns to respect others – including you and the family.
SEE, HEAR, SMELL, TASTE, FEEL – learn something new everyday.
SEEK GOD.  He created you for a purpose.  Discover what He has for you to do.
SING while you work.  Sing with your child.  Give your child a heart for song.
SMILE.  Turn your child’s frown into joy and celebration of laughter.
SPEAK loving words.  Your child will follow your example.
THANK your child often.  Pray that your child appreciates gifts and learns to be thankful.
TIME is a gift from God.  Use it wisely.
TRUST your child, and be trustworthy.  Your child wants to trust you.
TRUST in God.  “Don’t just lean on your own understanding.”