Speaker info:
Anna Balfour: The Price of Privilege
anna(at)potentialdifference(dot)net
www(dot)potentialdifference(dot)net
We are (materially) richer than 95% (or more) of the population of the world.
This idea created a platform for Anna to discuss the material focus of many on the Main Line. This statement challenges the Main Line mama to think about her place, and perhaps spur her on to find ways to care for others less fortunate. I used a lower number than Anna when I visited the global rich list website, but just wanted to highlight the fact that we have so much, materially. It may be easier for us to give to our children materially, but some of the questions brought to mind might be: What should we be giving our children? What is the focus of our parenting?
Faithful parenting: Do what you can do; be faithful because God is faithful!
Many times the Main Line mama might not feel that she is giving her children all that they should have, or deserve. The above thought is important to us as Godly parents: do what YOU can do. While we compare ourselves and our children to “the Joneses,” we have been given these precious gems specifically for what we can give, and maybe even for what we can’t. So, be faithful and do what you CAN do.
What we strive to give our children:
(adapted from handout provided by Anna)
CORE NEEDS:
Unconditional love: who you are
Safety: boundaries
Competency: developmental advancement
Many of us understand unconditional love: loving someone no matter what. It’s a hard thing to accomplish, but you probably felt it the moment your child was placed in your arms. At that moment, they can do no wrong. They will make wrong choices, but the unconditional love is already there! We learn this from our Heavenly Father, who loves us, knowing all of the wrong we have done and will do. He is our example.
Of course we want to keep our children safe, physically and beyond. Anna pointed out that boundaries are so important for children to have established in order to feel safe. There are concrete and abstract boundaries that children (and adults!) need for assurance of safety. We provide the physical/concrete boundary of a home for our children. Children also reap the benefits of boundaries in relationships and discipline. As a Main Line mama, what might be some of the boundaries your child might need? As a Godly parent, what are some of the boundaries your child might need?
From birth to adulthood, we hope our child will develop at a “normal” pace. Providing our children with a variety of experiences foster proper development. It may be easy or difficult for you to provide your child with the appropriate experiences. Money or transportation may be an issue. Hook up with some of your MOPS friends and their children for playdates. Don’t be afraid to ask ladies in your area what they do to entertain their children. Use the internet to find parks or libraries nearby!
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE:
Personal Awareness: Knowing what you feel and managing what is going on internally
Social Awareness: Awareness of how others feel and managing relationships
Emotional intelligence is much harder to teach, and learn. I’m sure each of us is still learning how to deal with certain emotions and certain people’s emotions and how they deal with them. During our meeting, we discussed a little bit about how we deal and how our children learn from our example. Teaching our children empathy early on can really boost emotional intelligence. During family time, use Bible stories, or books to discuss feelings and actions. If you have older children, start a Bible or book club with other interested mamas and their children. Use the smaller, safer group to teach and discuss relationships.
OUTSIDE MEASURED PERFORMANCE:
IQ: verbal/non-verbal/performance
Other Activities: extracurricular
Anna made a point to highlight the importance of both academic and extracurricular status of families on the Main Line. We, again, try to live up to what is expected of us in our socio-economic status and geographical location. A simple, but often overlooked thought: What is the motivation of participation in the activity? In the long run, will this be a benefit or detriment to our family?
From God’s Word:
Below are portions of some of the passages shared in order to give the main idea of the passage . You are encouraged you to read the chapters and draw applications to your situation.
Dealing with Emotions:
Romans 5: Patience through trouble
“…And we rejoice in the hope of the Glory of God. Not only so, but also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope…” (v.2-4)
2 Peter 1: character/patience
“…For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins…” (v.5-9)
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